January 2012
95 posts
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Well that was an epic fail
That email I was hoping for was bearing bad news.
I’m really depressed.
Fixing an extremely strong drink and going to bed early.
Fuck.
Sometimes you're the windshield.
There’s this phrase my dad uses, goes something like, “sometimes you’re the bug, and sometimes you’re the windshield.” I used to think it was oddly comforting, as if you’re always one step ahead of life catching up to you. I had a crappy day yesterday and instead realized that whether you’re the bug or the windshield, life kind of blows either way. But all...
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On Bars
That awkward moment when you just wanna go have an appletini, but the bar is 23+ and your age gap with your fella suddenly seems a lot weirder.
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Yogabending
Ok so maybe this is a little silly, but lately when I’ve been doing yoga, I’ve been focusing on really sticking the moves and pushing as hard as I can with my body, and it sort of feels like being a waterbender. Waterbending is based on tai chi so it kind of makes sense. I just really like the feeling of expelling energy when I do a move, and trying to draw it back in when I do the...
Restart
Drowning out this fuckery of a day with alcohol and good music.
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“I got the kerosene and the desire…”
– The Fray, Heartbeat
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7 Things for Today
1.) Yoga later to aid back injury
2.) Chupa Chups suckers
3.) Neosporin lip health balm for my poor chapped lips
4.) Discussing American Psycho as social commentary with Joe
5.) Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max
6.) Still waiting on a potentially life-changing email…
7.) This gif:
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The three S's
Scotch (Johnnie Walker Black)
Smokes (vanilla cloves)
Snow (epic snowstorm)
This is gonna be a good night.
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Hogwarts Envelope Clutch!
Buy an envelope style clutch, and replace the snap closure with a big red button (to look like a wax seal), and write on the flat back side:
Mr. H Potter
the Cupboard Under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
I am a genius.
“It bordered between okay and thoroughly repugnant.”
– Joe, on the hipsters who work at CBA: Chicago Bagel Authority.
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On being prepared
I’m not saying I just found my dream wedding dress, but I may have found my dream wedding dress. Bookmarking that shit. Just in case. Ya never know.
Today has been so full of win
I got a yummy, free lunch at the new Pret A Manger by work, with a chicken avocado sandwich, brownie, popcorn, and sparkling orange juice, and bought mittens so soft and warm that I want to have sex with them. Also my new haircut looks super cute and 30 Day Shred is showing results! Thanks for the win, universe.
“We who make stories know that we tell lies for a living. But they are good lies...”
– Neil Gaiman
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“Sometimes when you open a wardrobe you get to go to Narnia. And sometimes you...”
– Lev Grossman, on The Magician King (and the “exile from Eden” theme therein)
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“You know who my best friend is? A skateboarding metal head sociologist. Ya wanna...”
– Drunk ramblings about Rich and Dave.
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On country songs
That awkward moment when you try to express your complete and utter lack of enthusiasm, but no words come to mind and then you realize that your “give a damn” really is busted.
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Because I'm a rando
Just remembered I had a hot lesbian dream about a childhood friend. We were like the wonder twins or Will Smith and Charleze Theron in Hancock, and our magic lesbian powers only worked when we made out. I told her I didn’t love her and then she died. Also at some point there were 18-wheelers and a copy of Glamour magazine. Carry on.